Stress, Stress, Stre...

It's odd how a little bit of money can buy you happiness, yet a lack of a little bit of money can bring about the end of your world. Or at least in some cases what seems to be that drastic of a measure. Even though work pays the bills and I still find time to get out of the house for a night or so each week it still feels as though these four walls grow tighter every day. WHY?!

At first I thought I was just freaking out over financial reasons, then I realized it was my whole attitude of what I'm doing. Me and a friend recently discussed how neither of of saw the other as very sociable people. At the same time we know a lot of different people. So how can one be sociable with out being social and social without being sociable?
I pondered on this and came to realize that we hardly are non-sociable, we just don't realize what we contribute to the social setting. It took me a few weeks of mental notes to decide that I do get out and that I do know a lot of people from all types and walks of life, yet I still don't consider myself popular amongst them I realize I bring a few distinct things to a party or dinner or night out with friends. Varying roles are played to each separate group of people and tend to mesh me with the crowd.
IE: At a party last weekend I was the eldest of the crowd, not that I like to admit, and I still fit the social norms of that age group. Getting along and relating to people that I had hardly met before this. Then the next night hanging out with some of my better friends playing pool and dodging the bartenders who hadn't carded me at this point, my ID is expired... yet we hanged out just like in the years past, nothing changed.

It came to me as an epiphany, it wasn't so much what I wasn't but what I thought I wasn't.
Yeah, trippy I know! It makes you think though if I am only inhibited by what I think I not am, then I could be anything that I think I could be.
Inspiring and all, yet it is harder than it seems to change one's attitude to reflect a new viewpoint. I realized, at the same time, that I do this on a regular basis when around different crowds of people. So then my question is this: When am I my true-self, rather than the mold of the people around me?
Am I true when in solitude? When I am with family? Best friends?
The question at hand is harder to answer than I imagined and I am still in the process of answering. So for now I will enjoy my time here, while I'm here and be and act as I please towards whoever I am around. That in my simplest opinion IS my true-self.